Yesterday was the middle of the month. I decided that I had been working hard in August and I would take some measurement and weigh myself to see how this month of real focus was going. The results were depressing. Less than a pound lost and no noticeable difference in measurements. I felt fatter than I had 10 minutes before when I was convinced I was going to see some changes.
I might have consoled myself with a less than stellar lunch but I had finally (after being back-ordered for too long) gotten my new running shoes and I was eager to try them out during a lunch time run. I put in 3 miles and then came back in and put my work clothes back on. Do these feel loser? No, they couldn’t possibly. A few minutes later still red faced and ready to break into a sweat at any moment, I hopped into the elevator. The elevator with mirrored walls. Halfway through the ride, I caught myself thinking, “wow, i look pretty good. I look thinner”
How does that work? I don’t know, but there is something about running. Something about it makes you see yourself differently. My body hadn’t changed from morning to afternoon, but I went running and suddenly I felt thinner, more attractive, fitter.
That’s what running does. It makes you feel better. It makes you see yourself differently. It makes you like yourself better. That’s why I’ll keep running even when the scale doesn’t budge. Even if it never does*.
* But I really, really hope it does…and soon.
** And then I tried to find free images of plus sized runners on the internet and got nothing. Disappointing. We are out there. We will not be ignored!!
Frustration: Cutting calories, regaining running form, putting in hard work for 3 months and having a total loss of 6 pounds.
Frustration: Really focusing on food and running as much as possible in the month of August only to step on the scale mid-way through the month and seeing a loss of a whopping 0.8 pounds (that’s ZERO point eight).
Frustration: Dropping $145 on new running shoes only to have heel, ankle and knee pain on their first outing.
So yes, friends, I’m frustrated. The lack of weight loss is baffling to me. I, like so many who struggle with their weight, could write a book on nutrition and exercise (my problems are emotional not from lack of knowledge). So I know how to count calories, measure foods, good foods versus bad foods (yes to protein! no to refined carbs!). I know that it’s the calories you eat that really make or break weight loss, much more than exercise. So I’m just vexed at to why my diet of 1500 net calories, most of which are coming from clean foods is not resulting in dropped pounds. I blame breastfeeding. It’s the only thing I can think of right now.
I will keep on doing it though. What choice do I have?
It’s not all bad news though.
My running is going great. My endurance gets better every run. My motivation is strong and I am just in love with running again.
And I’m calling myself a runner again. Even if my body isn’t where I want it to be. I am a runner. I am part of the running community. I get excited when a Road Runner Sports catalog shows up in the mail. I’m lusting over lululemon bags and clothes. I think about running. A lot. And I love it. Now if my body would just get the message and shrink down to a size where I could fit into the workout clothes I am coveting.
The aforementioned shoes? Well, we’re just going to hope the pains were a fluke, because I’m not getting another new pair of shoes until these are done.
More good news, they are opening a new Sport and Health Fitness Center down the street from my house. My teacher husband gets a significant membership discount which combined with the fitness center membership reimbursement I get from my job, means we can get a family membership for a low, low price. I’m so excited. All of the gyms I’ve belonged to before had childcare as an afterthought. Just a small room with a few toys and an uninterested babysitter. I didn’t really care because I didn’t have kids. Now I do and I would feel guilty dropping them off in one of those places. But the Kidz Zone at S&H looks awesome and I know that my littles are going to get excited when I tell them we are going to the gym. That matters, a LOT.
So there you have it, weight loss is for crap but hooray for exercise!!
I kind of started this blog and then dropped off the face of the earth. That happens when you have a job and two small insomniac children. Internet time for mommy gets punted.
My Friday date with the scale. I was very unenthusiastic about our get together today. I didn’t do the work needed to have a happy encounter. Oh, it’s not that I was out partying with Doritos or Alfredo sauce. It was little things. I skipped my workout too many times. An extra handful of walnuts (those delicious, nutritious, fattening bastards). Too many iced lattes in the afternoon to help me survive having an infant who wakes up to eat several times a night.
There was also that Chipotle burrito bowl last night.
Anyway, back to my first official weigh-in of this blog.
223
This is me!
So, I’m 5’10”, doing the math, carry the 7, that puts my BMI at 31.94. That is obese. And that is just awful. Obese sucks. When your obese, you can’t lie to yourself. You’re not just a little overweight. You can’t pretend that no one notices your extra weight. You can’t tell yourself that your weight doesn’t matter. You are one of the statistics. You are fat.
I don’t want to be that statistic anymore. I don’t want to contribute to soaring healthcare cost. I don’t want to be one of the people they are talking about on the Nightly News. My first goal is to get to 209 pounds. At that weight my BMI is just under 30 and that is overweight instead of obese. There are more goals after that but I don’t want to look too far down the line. It is daunting.
I had a baby on February 13 of this year. Prior to that pregnancy, I had just lost the weight from my first baby and was at 208. Unfortunately, I do not know how to gain weight moderately and ended up 20 pounds again. So I was back where I started. Since then I have lost 6ish pounds (after my weight stabilized) and completed the Couch to 5K running program (for the 3rd time). The weight is coming off slowly.Very, very slowly. Part of that reason is that I’m breastfeeding and that makes my body want to hold onto fat and makes me outrageously hungry. The rest of the reason is my lack of enthusiasm obsession. Obsession is good for weight loss. I’m hoping this blog will help with that as well as give me a place to talk about weight loss, fitness, running and me, me, me!
Why do you read weight loss blogs?
Hello there and thanks for stopping by. I am just getting this blog up and running so check back on Friday, June 22, 2012 for the first real post.
Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip.
Arnold H. Glasgow
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fat mom gets fit 